a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant
“two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’”
“got it. check my dashboard”
“that skeleton gif you like is back again”
he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”

Posted 2 hours ago With 148,730 notes


do you ever have those days where you feel like getting ready for no reason and clean your room and eat healthy because i don’t

Posted 2 hours ago With 18,665 notes






oh you had a bad day???????? WELL 2014 years ago the dinosaurs went instinct on this very day. think before u speak

…..sweetheart, I think you are mistaken.

listen sweetie(: im a dinosaur scientist i know what i’m talking about

We’re talking about millions of years ago, cupcake.

hunny you’re wrong (: the earth grew exactly 2014 years ago the day the dinesuers went instinct

Posted 4 hours ago With 29,790 notes




Imagine having braces during the apocalypse. no one can take your braces off. And you just have to accept that you’ll have braces forever.

i want a novel focused around a character with braces during the apocalypse and the entire plot of the story revolves around their search for an orthodontist who is still alive and they sort of accidentally save the world in the process

as a person with braces I NEED THIS SO MUCH

Posted 5 hours ago With 229,144 notes

“Just fucking tell her. Right now. This is your sign.”

(via fawun)

Posted 7 hours ago With 241,208 notes